


All My Roads (They Lead To You)

by fraudulentzodiacs



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 19:11:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17648318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fraudulentzodiacs/pseuds/fraudulentzodiacs
Summary: Five times Alex walked away from Michael (and one time he didn't).





	All My Roads (They Lead To You)

 

**One**

 

The museum was closed, and Alex felt a thrill as Michael pulled him through the employee entrance. The other boy worked part-time at the museum dedicated to the crash, and had convinced him that he was allowed to be in the building after hours. 

 

"What are we doing?" Alex whispered, though he assumed that it was unnecessary as they were completely alone. 

 

"You'll see." Michael replied, a mischievous smile on his face as he clung to Alex's hand with his own. 

 

"I hate surprises, Guerin." 

 

"You'll like this one." Michael assured him, and Alex rolled his eyes with a smile on his face. They made their way through the exhibits until they came to the room that was used as a planetarium. Michael left Alex standing alone in the room as he disappeared into the control room. Alex jumped as the lights went out, only to be replaced a moment later by tiny lights on the ceiling, dancing across the fake night sky. 

 

"I figure, if this storm is going to keep us from watching the meteor shower at Foster's, this is a close second."

 

"How very Ross Geller of you." Alex joked, but felt a blush bloom on his cheeks all the same at the thought that Michael would go to such efforts for him. He waited until he had finished spreading out the blanket he had procured from somewhere before sitting down on this floor next to him. It was somehow more intimate to be alone in the room with Michael tha in the desert, and Alex felt himself tense when Michael leaned into him. They had been dancing around each other for weeks, and Alex wasn't sure at this point if he wanted to kiss Michael Guerin or run for the hills and never look back. 

 

"This is beautiful." Alex said after a moment, his eyes on the lights above them. 

 

"Yeah." Was all Michael said in response, and Alex tilted his head to find Michael staring at him. He felt frozen as Michael's gaze deepened, his hand coming up to cradle Alex's jaw. His thumb rubbed slow, small circles as he waited for Alex to pull away. 

 

"Is this okay?" He finally asked, and Alex couldn't breathe, much less speak. He simply nodded and held his breath as Michael leaned in closer, his lips brushing Alex's tentatively before pulling away to meet Alex's gaze again. Alex threaded his fingers in the curls at the base of Michael's head, pulling him back and crashing his lips onto his. This kiss was clumsier, uncoordinated but better than any kiss Alex had ever had in his life. 

 

They made out on the floor of the planetarium until Alex's lips were raw, his neck covered in redness from Michael's stubble. He let Michael pack up their things and close the planetarium, threading his fingers through Michael's as they walked back through the museum and to Michael's beat up old truck. 

 

"I have to go." Alex said sadly, leaning against the truck and pulling Michael between his legs. "I'm in for it as it is."

 

"Yeah, okay." Michael let his finger drag down the front of Alex's shirt, following it with his eyes before looking back up at Alex. "I'll see you at school on Monday?"

 

"Yeah." Alex leaned in and kissed Michael quickly, pulling away before he let the kiss deepen. "Monday." he added, slipping out from between Michael and the truck and pointed himself toward his house, his thoughts firmly on the boy who was quickly stealing his heart as he walked away. 

 

**Two**

 

Alex sighed as he scanned his room one last time, looking for anything he might have missed. His eyes fell on his guitar, propped up in the corner. No matter how many times he told himself he had to leave it behind, he always returned to it. He knelt down in front of it, running his fingers along the edge. The instrument was so intrinsically tied to Michael in his mind, the hours spent with the other boy as Michael taught him to play. He had spent weeks trying to push down the spark of attraction he had felt whenever Michael's fingers had touched his as he taught him a new chord. All that time he had wasted being afraid of Michael rejecting him, not knowing they could have had what they had for longer. Now, he was enlisting and going off to God knows where, and he knew in his heart that Michael would be long gone by the time he got back. 

 

Michael Guerin was going to change the world, and he couldn't do that in a town like Roswell. 

 

As if thinking about him had conjured him into existence, Alex jumped when he heard a tapping on his window. He rushed over to let Michael in, the other boy sliding in with familiar ease. 

 

"What are you doing here?" Alex asked, and Michael shrugged. 

 

"I waited for your dad to leave." He replied, his eyes falling to the duffel bag on the bed. "So, you're really going?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Why are you doing this, Alex? You don't want to join the goddamn military."

 

"My dad..."

 

"Screw your dad, Alex! What do  _ you  _ want?"

 

"Please, Michael, I don't want to have this argument again." Alex pleaded, watching as Michael pulled at his hair and paced the room, his curls going even wilder than normal. 

 

"I just...I don't understand."

 

"I'm a Manes." Alex threw his hands in the air. "We're soldiers."

 

"You're different from your brothers, Alex."

 

"You think I don't know that? That's why I have to do this."

 

"You don't, though. We can..." Michael began, but Alex cut him off.

 

"We can what, Guerin? Run off to Nashville, chase our dreams, make it big? We live in the real world, it's time we accept that."

 

"We could just stay." Michael offered. "We could just...be together." 

 

There was a hope in Michael's voice that Alex had never heard before. He felt a lump form in his throat, and he knew in his heart that he wanted nothing more than that. He wanted to stay here, in Roswell, with Michael, and just be. But, then he thought of the disappointment in his father's eyes when he saw him at the Crashdown with Michael two weeks prior. They had stopped to grab burgers and fries on their way out to stargaze at Foster's, and Michael had looked so incandescently happy that Alex hadn't been able to resist raking his hand down Michael's back and leaving it there as they walked toward Michael's truck. There, parked a few spots away from the truck, had been Jesse Manes, watching them closely.

 

_ I don't care that he's a boy. _ Jesse had told him when he had returned home early the next morning.  _ I care that he's a criminal, and I won't let him ruin your career before it even starts. _

 

The threat had been clear, and Alex felt tears in his eyes as he stared at Michael.

 

"I don't..." Alex began, stopping to clear his throat, feeling as if the words he didn't want to say were stuck in his throat, refusing to come out. "I don't want that, I'm sorry. I want to go."  _ Lie, lie, lie _ his heart screamed, and he stared at the ground once he saw the heartbreak clear on Michael's face. The silence was thick between them, and Alex was afraid to look up and face the inevitable. Finally, he sighed and brought his gaze back to Michael.

 

"I have to finish packing."

 

"Yeah, alright." Michael replied, and Alex couldn't miss the wetness in the other boy's voice, or the way his hand quickly wiped away a stray tear on his cheek. "See you around, Manes." Michael muttered as he stepped through the window. "Or not." He added, and Alex waited until Michael had jumped down off of the roof before he collapsed on the floor against his bed, sobs racking his body until he had nothing left. 

 

The next morning, he caught a glimpse of Michael in the distance at the bus station, and he turned away to keep his father from noticing him. He would protect Michael from Jesse Manes' wrath...

 

It was the least that he could do. 

 

**Three**

 

Roswell is achingly familiar, though Alex doesn't feel like the same kid he had been the last time he'd stepped into his hometown. Three years and one deployment later, Alex knows he's changed, and not in completely positive ways. Still, he couldn't help but feel slightly more at ease in familiar surroundings. Felix, one of his brothers, was also on leave and he had relished the chance to bond with his brother. He had also been happy to reunite with Maria, and took her up on her offer to join her for a night at the Wild Pony. They talked about Liz, who had left Roswell without looking back almost as soon as they had graduated. Alex missed his other best friend, but respected her apparent wish to cut ties with everything Roswell. He couldn't say that he blamed her. The entire town had turned against the Ortechos after Rosa's death, even though Liz and her father had had nothing to do with Rosa's poor choices. But, selfishly, he missed her and wished that she would at least reach out to him and Maria. 

 

Maria had just left their table to get another round when he felt eyes on him. He looked across the dance floor and fought down a gasp at a pair of familiar golden brown eyes watching him. Michael was sitting at the bar, beer in hand, seemingly alone and completely focused on him. Alex had spent months after enlisting debating whether or not to write to Michael, if only to find some kind of closure for them. When he had deployed, he had only just been able to resist slipping the only picture he had of the two of them into his personal belongings. Now, years later, he found himself unable to look away from the man. Michael looked like he wanted to get up from the bar, and Alex found himself wishing that he would come over and speak to him, and that he would stay away. He didn't trust himself to speak to Michael, and everything between them couldn't be covered in a quick chat in a crowded dive bar. 

 

"Come and dance with me, Manes!" Maria yelled over the music as she set their drinks down, reaching out for his hands. Alex chuckled and let her pull him up, following her out onto the dance floor. He slipped an arm around her waist and spun her around the floor, her laugh happy and free and a welcome distraction from Michael. They danced through two songs before Alex begged off, handing Maria over to one of their old classmates. He collapsed back in his chair, watching Maria dancing with a smile on his face. 

 

His eyes drifted back over to the bar, and he was more than a little disappointed to discover the stool Michael had been in empty. He downed the rest of his drink, dropping some bills on the table and waving goodbye to Maria before making his way out into the Roswell night. It wasn't too far of a walk from the bar to his father's house, and he knew that he could use the fresh air. He had almost crossed the parking lot when a familiar truck pulled up in front of him. Michael leaned over across the bench seat of the truck, an eyebrow raised as he watched Alex. 

 

"Need a lift?"

 

"I'm fine, thanks." Alex replied, moving to sidestep the truck when he heard Michael sigh. 

 

"Get in the truck, Alex."

 

Alex watched the other man for a long moment before he rolled his eyes and opened the passenger door, slamming it shut as Michael peeled out of the parking lot. They rode along the main streets of Roswell in tense silence, and Alex struggled to find something to say that wouldn't devolve into an argument. 

 

"Why didn't you tell me that you were back?" Michael finally asked, and Alex stared at him. 

 

"I figured you wouldn't care to know."

 

"You were in Iraq, it'd be nice to know that you got back in one piece."

 

"How did you know that I was deployed?" Michael glanced over at him and let him figure it out for himself. "Maria."

 

"Maria." Michael confirmed.

 

"So are y'all, like, a thing now?" Alex couldn't stop the tinge of jealousy that seeped into his tone. 

 

"And if we are?"

 

"It's none of my business, I guess." Alex admitted and Michael's laugh was sharp and dark. 

 

"Guess it's not." Michael replied as he pulled to a stop a few houses down from the Manes residence. 

 

"Guerin..." Alex began, and Michael shook his head. "Thanks for the ride." Alex said sharply, climbing out of the truck as quickly as he could. He slammed the door shut and refused to look back, even though he could hear Michael's truck continuing to idle until he was down the block and at his front door. He finally turned back as he stuck the key in the front door, staring hard at the truck as if could will Michael to come to him. Instead, his heart sank of its own volition as Michael whipped the truck around and headed back toward town. Alex watched the taillights until they were out of sight before unlocking the door and stepping inside. 

 

**Four**

 

It's seven years and one life-altering injury before Alex sees Michael again. He doesn't know why he's surprised that the Airstream belongs to him, maybe because he'd hoped that Michael had finally left Roswell behind for something better. Now that he was back for good, Alex wasn't sure whether was excited or disappointed to be face to face with his first love. 

 

_ Quick, Alex, run and tell your daddy. _

 

Michael's words hurt more than Alex expected, and they stayed with Alex for hours after. His father had always been a cause of tension between himself and Michael, and he hated that it was still there ten years later. 

 

Then they were all at the reunion, and Alex hadn't been able to resist engaging with Michael, feeling a shiver run down his spine as Michael's breath ghosted along his ear. 

 

_ Did it get old for you? _

 

It hadn't, and Alex hated that it hadn't. Knowing that Michael was still in Roswell after all this time, still in his world in some way, made Alex feel as if his world was just a little off its axis. He felt like he was seventeen again, in love with the boy walking away from him with his arm draped over some random girl they'd gone to school with. Alex did his best to shake it off, but found himself searching out some peace and quiet as the night went on. Of course, Michael had found him and cornered him and the moment that Michael's lips had crashed onto his, it felt like his world righted again. He clung to Michael, pulling him impossibly closer as he wrapped his arms around the other man.

 

Alex fought back a whimper as Michael rested his forehead on his own, letting him simply breathe in the other man as they stood there, the party a dull background noise. 

 

"Take a ride with me." Michael whispered, his tone pleading and tentative. Alex's heart immediately screamed  _ yes  _ and  _ finally  _ and  _ go go go _ , but his brain forced him to step away, to break the spell around them. 

 

"I can't." 

 

"Alex..."

 

"I have to go, Guerin." Alex interrupted, reaching for his crutch. 

 

"Of course you do." Michael's voice was full of sadness, and Alex resisted the urge to throw himself back at the other man, to take him in his arms and do everything he could to make sure he never had to hear such sadness from Michael Guerin again and...how was it still like this after ten years? He thought, shaking his head. 

 

"I'm sorry." Alex muttered as he moved away from Michael, leaving the other man standing there alone as he walked out of the room, out of the party, and away from all things that reminded him of Michael Guerin. 

 

**Five**

 

By the time that Michael was done talking to Isobel about whatever she had come to the junkyard about, Alex had put his prosthetic back on and dressed, his head cradled in his hands as he waited for Michael to return. He knew that he had fucked up by panicking about Isobel knowing about them. Michael had always been sensitive about being a 'secret' when they were seventeen, and it was clearly still a sore subject now. Alex had come out to his family years ago, but there was still that spectre of disappointment in Jesse Manes' eyes whenever the subject of Alex's relationship with Michael came up. Not that it frequently did. Alex knew that his father preferred to pretend that his son's relationship with the town's resident "bad seed" had never existed, and Alex himself preferred to keep the tentative peace that they had established since he had been reassigned to Roswell. Alex's head popped up when Michael opened the door, the morning light shining bright behind him as he stared at Alex. 

 

"She's gone, you're in the clear."

 

"Guerin..."

 

"It's fine, just...if you need to go..."

 

"I have a meeting on the base soon."

 

"Yeah." Michael's response was short and curt, his gaze firmly on the ground. Alex sighed heavily and reached for his crutch, making his way down the steps until he was face to face with Michael. 

 

"I'm so-"

 

"Please, for the love of god Alex, don't apologize to me again. The words mean nothing anymore."

 

"That's not fair." Alex snapped, and Michael rolled his eyes. 

 

"What you're doing here is not fair." Michael replied curtly. "I've told you. For me, nothing's changed. Either you want to be with me or you don't. Make up your mind, or leave me the hell alone." Michael brushed past him and into the trailer, slamming the door shut behind him. 

 

Michael's words stayed with him throughout the day. They lingered through his time on the base, as he grabbed a six pack from the store to cope with the evening at the drive-in, and they were still there when he spotted Michael standing by his truck. Alex knew that Michael was right. At this point, words were cheap, and he needed to show Michael that he was sorry. The relief he felt when Michael accepted the beer for the olive branch that it was was palpable, and he couldn't fight the smile on his lips as Michael sat down next to him. 

 

_ Guess you're still the guy just looking for any excuse to walk away. _

 

The words cut through Alex like a knife. He heard his father's voice in his head, he thought about what he saw, and the unmistakable look of disappointment on Michael's face as they stood there. 

 

"Maybe." He replied, fighting down the feeling of his heart breaking once again. "And you're just so good at giving them to me."

 

This time, when he walked away, he knew in his heart that he had ruined the last chance that Michael would ever give him. 

 

**And One**

 

So...Michael's an alien. 

 

That explained so much for Alex, and yet it opened up a whole new can of worms that he didn't even know where to start to unpack it all. Still, he held Michael upright against the wheel of his truck as he poured nail polish remover down his throat. Isobel had insisted that it would help before she left to take care of Max, and the other man does look marginally better than he did a few moments ago.

 

"Alex?" Michael asked groggily, his eyes unfocused as they landed on him.

 

"Yeah, I'm here." Alex responded, carding his hand through Michael's curls as he tried to keep him conscious. "How are you feeling?"

 

"Like I got hit by a truck." he admitted, and Alex shook his head. 

 

"That’s because you did, you moron." Alex couldn't shake the image of Michael crashing into the windshield of the truck that had been moments from running over Max Evans out of his head. "What were you thinking?"

 

"He's my brother." Michael replied simply, and Alex did his best to help the other man as he pushed himself to his feet. "Is he okay?"

 

"He's fine, Isobel is with him. I'm taking you home." Michael looked as if he wanted to argue with him, before he finally nodded and let Alex guide him to his SUV, the other man practically collapsing into the passenger seat. 

 

They rode in silence to the junkyard, and they were about halfway there when Alex realized that Michael was snoring lightly against the window. Alex didn't want to wake him when they arrived at the trailer, but he knew that he was incapable of carrying the man anywhere. Michael went face first onto the bed when they finally made it inside, and Alex found another bottle of polish remover in the tiny bathroom, nudging Michael until he was awake enough to take the bottle.

 

"Here, you need to drink this." Alex urged, unscrewing the cap and handing the bottle over to him. Michael downed half of it at once before handing it back to him. Alex set it down and maneuvered on the tiny bed until he could reach Michael's boots, tugging them off before tossing them across the trailer, followed by his torned, ruined jeans. 

 

"What are you doing?" Michael asked, and Alex shrugged.

 

"You need to rest, Guerin."

 

"Yeah, but what are  _ you  _ doing here?"

 

"Someone's gotta take care of you." He replied simply, and Michael chuckled darkly. 

 

"As if you care about me." Alex froze at Michael's whispered words, his heart twisting at the thought that Michael could actually believe that Alex didn't care about him. 

 

"I care, Michael." Alex replied, and Michael twisted away from him, facing the wall. 

 

"You can go, Alex. Thanks for the help."

 

Alex watched Michael's back, his breathing slowly evening out until he was sleeping deeply. He thought about leaving, but then he flashed back to seeing Michael unconscious on the ground, and he tossed his wallet and phone on the kitchen counter. He stripped out of his jeans, setting his prosthetic against the wall next to the bed before stretching out across the empty expanse next to Michael. He stared at Michael's back, resisting the urge to reach out and caress him, to reassure himself that he was still there. Instead, he stared until exhaustion finally claimed him, curling up as close to Michael as he dared without touching him. 

 

The next morning, as light filtered into the Airstream, Alex woke to the feeling that he was being watched. He cracked open an eye and found Michael on his side, staring at him. 

 

"How are you feeling?" Alex asked, his voice heavy with sleep. 

 

"Better." Michael replied. "You stayed." Alex was suddenly back to that other morning in the trailer, the last time he had stayed. 

 

"I stayed." He said simply, reaching out a hand run finger along Michael's collarbone. "So...alien, huh?"

 

"Yeah. That bother you?"

 

"Nope." Alex said honestly. "It explains a lot, actually."

 

"Does it?"

 

"Yeah..." Alex began, only to be interrupted by the shrill ring of his phone. He pushed himself up enough to reach it, groaning at his dad's number on the display. He looked at Michael for a moment before rejecting the call, turning it off and setting it back on the counter before returning his head to the pillow. 

 

"Your dad..." Michael began, but Alex shook his head. 

 

"He can wait." Alex finished. "This is important.  _ You  _ are important." Alex didn't miss the shaky breath that Michael let out, or the bit of hope that entered his eyes as he watched Alex. Alex put one hand on Michael's shoulder, pushing him back against the bed as Alex moved to hover over him. 

 

"I almost watched you die last night." Alex began, his eyes never leaving Michael's as he traced his face with his hands. "It scared the shit out of me when I thought I might never see you again. That I might never get a chance to fix what I broke."

 

Alex leaned down, his lips brushing across Michael's as gently as they had that first time they kissed in the planetarium a decade prior. He pulled back, praying that this time he was getting things right. 

 

"I love you, Michael. And I think that you love me too. And, if you give me a chance, I swear I'll never leave you again until you tell me to."

 

Alex waited as Michael stared at him, his face unreadable. He felt his stomach churn with nerves at the fear of rejection, the fear that he had let Michael down one too many times. After a moment, he felt Michael wrap a hand around the back of his head, pulling him down until their lips were practically touching. 

 

"You'll be waiting a long time, Manes." Michael said, and Alex couldn't fight the relieved smile that escaped before Michael brought him down to kiss him again. 

 


End file.
